With each one that leaves, it tears a little hole in my heart. I just hope they all know how much they will be missed and that where ever they find themselves they are truely happy.......

Another level down, farming to do now. Hopefully will get a TB with an ammy or a shard or something. Will just have to wait and see.

Not certain on a lot of stuff now. Only a few things, Spyne, Cel, my life as a Roguess and the Hammers I know I can always count on. Everything else, I feel like just giving up on. Seems a lot more are leaving the guild now. Must push forward though. How can I be of help, when I don't even know how to help myself right now though.

At least we are working toward our next event. That's a plus. Must get with Cel and the others to see what there is to be done. Have her give me something to do to help keep me destracted from everything else..........

Suppose to be farming, but just can't seem to bring myself to do anything. I want to scream, to shout, to stomp my feet, but would it do any good? The tears I keep held at bay. Right now, I am just thankful for Spyne and Cel. They are helping me out here more than they know. Even though I still find it hard to lean on someone, I know he is and will always be there for me. And for that I am forever greatful to him, and love him more and more as the days pass. I must remember that he is there for me, through the good and the bad..........

I think a little piece of each of us died as we heard the news. He touched so many's lives here in the lands. But I don't think we ever told him how much we appreciated him. He came to rescue me in my darkest hour. He would listen to me rant about different things. He gave me armor when I was level 8, first time I met him. He would still hound me about not choosing the path of the Warrior.

Each of us will mourn in our own way. Some will shed tears, others will dive into training and farming, while others will hide what they are feeling from everyone and hold everything in. All I can do is hope and pray to the gods that he knows how much he is loved and how much he will be missed...........

I knew it would come, but still came as a shocker. He told me a while back that he wasn't happy in the lands in the more, but I would still see him wake every now and then. He was the first true friend I made in these lands. One I will always remember. He helped me out so much as I grew. Still remember the first time he helped me. But that's over now. Why is loosing a member of your family have to be this hard? Everyone of the Hammers hold a special place in my heart, I love them all so much. And when one is hurting, I want to do everything within my power to fix it. But this time, there's no fixing it, not for him nor for her. We shall all move forward and over time, it won't hurt as much. At least I hope...........

I have been farming for a while now. Seems that TB is going to evade me forever. I now have a few Violet Crystals, but without the ammy, they are going to be of no use to me. Feel like banging my head against the wall. It is so aggrivating.

Made a deal with Trip last night while waiting on Cel. If he levels by Friday, I will give him 100 plat. Seems like he's trying. But that's right now, let's see how it goes in a few days.

Cel, Trip and I are planning another event for the Guild. It's still in the planning stage right now, but it seems like it might come together pretty quickly. We will have to wait and see. What we do have planned though, should be a lot of fun. I really can't wait to see how it turns out. Will be a lot of work, yet again, but hey, with all of us pitching in, shouldn't be that hard.

Someone approached me the other day, his manner and the way he talked gave me the feeling I should know him. I've been racking my brain, though, and for some reason, I just can't figure it out right now. Spyne is trying his best to help me with this, and hopefully, between the two of us, we can figure it out. Going to have to wait and see.

The Ambassador stuff seems to be going pretty good. Meeting a lot of people, which one on one, that is fine, and fun. Keeps me busy, which I like. I am just hoping I can make the Hammers proud by doing this. I try my hardest, that's all I can do, right?

Well, back to the farming bit. Hopefully I will find that TB here real soon........

I've been sitting here, just thinking, shooing the birdies away. Now I know why Kasi hardly ever trained....hehe.
Was able to get some farming done, which is good. Was able to spend time with Spyne, which is even better. Wish I was able to write like the great poets out there, but I'm not able to do that. I do good to just write what is running through my head at times. To think of something and actually make it make sense, that would be nice. There is so much I would love to be able to write, but alas, I am not that type of person, I guess. Guess what it is I am really wishing for is to be able to express how much he really means to me. But I can't make the words come out right. Took me forever just to get the vows right for our bonding. Maybe one day I will be able to do that for him, who knows though. Right now things are still reeling from everything, I have a hard time of putting things into perspective. But oh, it all feels so good.
Spent some time with Angel. We talked a little, not much. But what we did say to each other was good. She is truely happy. To look into her eyes, all you see is love, joy, and pure happiness there. I am truely happy for her.
Cel got me to dance with her the other night, right in the middle of Milltown Center. Still can't believe I did that, but it was fun. To see her laugh like she did, I hope it did her some good. She means so much to me. She is a wonderful person and I want her to be able to find the happiness she deserves..........

YAY.....I DID IT....I DID IT....I DID IT.....Level 54, passed my Master Rogue like I told him I would. Although now, most of my reason for training is so Spyne won't pass me up too much...hehe. Guess I definately have someone now pushing me forward, to always better myself at my trade, to become stronger than before. I tell you, I stood there in front of that trainer this evening and I almost forgot to speak to him. Started to walk right past him on my way to the tunnels, then I stopped, backed up and spoke to him. I was counting down all the way, too, until I was able to get out of those tombs. Although now, though, I am not sure where the best place for me to train is. I will have to start asking around. Although, Spyne probably already knows that. I must take time to farm. Maybe them TB's will be nice to me and give me something good like an ammy or a shard or 3 or 4....hehe.

Angel and Az got bonded today. They looked so happy up there. She was glowing and looked absolutely beautiful. You could see the love they share for each other radiating off of them. I pray to the gods that they stay as happy as they are now. Angel deserves this happiness so much with everything she was put through. And now for her to find it, I am over flowing with the joy I feel for them both.........

Well, almost done with my training. I will get there soon enough. But I feel bad, he's gone and passed me again. I must get back on track with my training. I've been on cloud nine pretty much ever since the bonding. Hard for me to stay concentrated on one thing here lately.

Then there's her. She says everything is ok, but I can tell by the way she acts, something isn't right. Maybe, hopefully, I pray to the gods that everything is ok, but my gut is telling me it's not. I will just have to take her word for it. She knows where to find me when and if she wants to talk.

Angel is getting bonded tomorrow. She is a godsend. She is wonderful. I am so honored to call her my sister now. I pray to the gods that they have as much happiness and Spyne and I do. They deserve it.

I've been appointed ambassador to the guild now. I just hope I can do a good job. No one can replace Kasi at doing that, but I am going to try my best to make them all proud of me.

All I have ever wanted, I finally have. Does it get any better than this???????

What can I say? It was beautiful. Cel was wonderful. And Spyne, he is always wonderful. His words touched my heart. As did hers. True, it wasn't your normal bonding, but then, look who's it was...hehe.

It still feels like I am dreaming. If I am, all I can do is hope and pray to the gods I never wake from this dream. To be as happy as I am now, I truely thought it wasn't possible. But look at us now. Together at last, one in heart and soul. He is truely a godsend and I love him more and more as the days go by. May our love last a lifetime..........

I can't wait. In just a few more marcs or so we will be bonded. I'm more excited than anything. To finally be bonded to the one I love, with our closest friends there, don't think it gets any better than that, does it?
Well, off to see what else needs to be done.......

Tonight and tomorrow night left then we are bonded. Excited, nervous and over joyed all rolled into one. I cannot wait..........